What does it mean to forgive someone?
It’s easy to think forgiveness is for the new age but nothing could be further from the truth. At some point in life you will experience hurt and pain. It may be from a break up in a relationship where your world has been torn apart and you feel betrayed. Perhaps you have experienced a job loss or family argument? Forgiveness is about giving something, but instead of it being about giving something to the other who hurt you it`s about giving something to yourself. To forgive means to give yourself the right to not let the hurt hold you back. It doesn’t make what happened okay, it says I`m not going to stop growing, stop living and so loving because of the pain. Forgiveness allows relationships to heal because it takes the blame and negativity off of the person who hurt you.
According to Dr Deepak Chopra. When you have resentment, grievance or feel hostility towards anyone or if you have any of the other toxic emotions like guilt, shame, depression or fear, these emotions release hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones have effects on the cardiovascular and on the immune systems. You become immune compromised, even your platelets get jittery with the high levels of adrenaline and they start the clothing cascade leading to cardiovascular illnesses, heart attacks and stroke. On the other hand when you forgive and let go the burden of judgment, everything settles down and your body starts to return to homeostasis, which is self- regulation and self- healing.
Based on this information isn’t it something you could try to do? Regardless of your role, profession or career in life? Why would you compromise your health and well-being by hanging onto something that doesn’t serve you and has no purpose?
The Power of Forgiveness.
I had personal experience myself recently when someone close directed their anger towards me. Initially I felt hurt but quickly realised I needed to forgive them regardless of the outcome. I did this without any conditions attached. Two days later they rang to apologise saying how upset they were that they were not sleeping and what they had said was on their conscience.
“I hope you can forgive me” came the words. At this point I had two choices, I could hang onto it or forgive them directly. I said I forgave them and I accepted the apology. That immediately had a positive effect on their well-being.“Thank you I feel better already” came the response. “I should never have said it I was at the end of my tether and it just came tumbling out.”
For me it also had a positive effect on my own health and well-being, as holding onto any resentment and annoyance I had would have been counter productive. Forgiving someone does not mean condoning their behaviour only that we are letting go. If we choose not to forgive imagine the negative consequences to our own peace of minds.Time may heal all wounds making them easier to live with. Remember that life is not about forgetting, it`s about forgiving.